Whew! It's December What? Wait.....WHAT??!?!?!?!
Ahhhh what to say, what to say..... closing out 2017... ANOTHER year checked off, another year filled with highs and lows, another year of lessons learned, and another year of sometimes getting burned.
Still this year hasn’t been much different from the last many, for me at least. There has been a lot of change, uncertainty and unfinished business in many "departments" of my personal and professional life. Transitioning into new places, letting go of old spaces, packing up and unpacking, one too many times, could send even the most balanced person over their own red line.
I just read that and it sounds like I was trying to be a poet. I wasn’t but it sounds pretty good. I’m closing out this year as another testament to the strength and will that I have discovered within myself. After moving four times in four years, losing my father, pets, some friends - both on earth and above and beyond- and this last move a relocation to a new city and state. And, although one that is familiar as a visitor with some friends and family here, it is still new to me living here. No matter where we move, down the street the other side of the country or another continent there is a transitional period and there is no timeline, it affects us all in a very unique way. We all have different personalities, we all interpret, process and manage how we respond and adapt to change.
I’m blogging today as I’ve been bedridden for two days with whatever strain of FLU that floats around our environment every year. I have never actually HAD the version(s) that travels around this time of year. I have had sinus issues, really bad colds and maybe the yucky stomach flu but nothing like this. The force with which this came on Sunday afternoon was like a punch in the face. My finger nails hurt, my earlobes, my hair, my eyelashes, and my teeth hurt so badly, it was as if I was having an out of body experience not to mention every joint, muscle---every ounce of my being just hurt. When the shivering began, shortly after, the intense sweating and hot flashes followed, and NO it was not a Hormone Hottie, I would have preferred that.
A trip to urgent care on the afternoon of Christmas Eve was our only
resort in the event if this really did turn into something serious. I
wanted to act as quickly, and I have been fairly fortunate not to get a sniffle or anything that kept me down, and recently returned to Chinese Medicine thanks to a new MD here in Scottsdale that I have started to see locally. He is like a Unicorn, an MD who ALSO practices Chinese Medicine? Like the unicorn doctor I have in Las Vegas (more..next blog)
I have spent the last many years and most recently been very diligent with herbal remedies and I was successful at preventing an ear infection a couple of weeks ago with these amazing herbs. But alas, I let my guard down at some moment when I wasn’t looking, this crud made its presence known.
My Christmas Eve is barely memorable, I recall returning home from urgent care taking one of the pills drinking as much water as I could, putting on anywhere from 6 to 8 layers of clothing, including gloves and a scarf, then under the covers I went as my amazing husband nursed-up and found as many blankets as he could to keep me warm. By the way, the heat was already on in the house.
I spent most of the evening in agony, moaning and groaning, changing positions and locations. Sometimes laying on the floor in just the right way kept me comfortable, only to have to move a minute later. Finally just full of pure exhaustion, getting into bed and praying to the universe or any Higher Divine Being to PLEASE......let me make it through the night. I did. I’m here. I was pretty miserable Christmas Day. This year’s Merry Christmas turned into a Merry Sick-Mas. My Christmas dinner which was supposed to be here at our home had to be changed at the last minute, friends and family having to pull it together and from what I heard they did and had a great time with my husband over there to join in the festivities getting a much needed break from hanging out with his sick wife (he earned it for sure). Only to return with a lovely collection of leftovers that will probably look appealing in a few days.
Dare I say the only upside to being incapacitated at this time is the amazing amount of water weight I have lost. That in and of itself is awful to say but I’d be lying if I said it was not an appreciated outcome of getting an unplanned detox. I guess I’m a little ahead of the game but then again my OCD/SO keeps me on top of things like that. (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder with Somatic Obsessions)
The end of Christmas day I actually didn’t feel so awful, but I may have
gotten up once too many times during the day thinking if that would help--it didn’t, it set me back a little bit so the next couple of days I was horizontal
again. Baby steps. My husband, being out for meetings for work these past few days, felt bad that he had to
go but I think he needed a break and looked forward to engaging with people without wearing a mask over his airways. I don’t mind
being alone and just letting myself feel yucky, and yet slowly
getting a little bit energy to start thinking about what I have to do
this week and next week. AND in 2018. No pressure.
So as I think about getting sick this time of year, it happens to many people, not to me very often, but when I do get a bug I get a really big bug. When I go down, I go down hard and I've got to be honest, as a Behavioral Nutritional counselor, I work in psychology with personalities, helping people find balance in their lives in many areas, and I, myself have my own struggles. I’ve often thought about that teeter-totter component of my work as a health partner helping people get on and stay on track, create and live sustainable healthy lifestyles, finding balance and harmony, and really enjoying their lives and being good to themselves while they’re doing it. I’m the same, just because I help people with their own lives doesn’t mean I’ve figured out every single thing about my own. Being in this type of business, this field of psychology and health can sometimes feel like you’re boxed in. You feel backed into a corner and the image that you are supposed to be. A perfect size zero, flawless being who has it all together--she eats and exercises right, thinks positive constantly, has a perfect husband or partner, perfect children, a perfect home, car, job and on and on. THIS simply is not the case. And I must say, all of the criteria for perfection I listed above might be out there, but know that everyone has something going on behind the curtain that is not perfect. There is much more depth to us, which is significantly more interesting and purposeful then if we get enough KALE in our diets.
As I started to say about 200 words ago, I am not perfect. AND, most people do
have more success helping others than themselves - you know why? It is EASIER! Isn't it easier to look at someone and give advice on THEIR stuff, rather than to look inside and take your own inventory? I will say over the
last 15 years I’ve really learned about myself, my shortcomings, weaknesses, vulnerabilities and the triggers that start all of those
in motion, and quite honestly it could turn into a downward spiral pretty quickly.
I’ve also learned through my experience of being on this planet for 47 years and all of the training and education that I’ve accomplished, that, while one is an expert in an area of study, your business, your niche, whatever, it does not mean that you have mastered everything that you teach in your own personal life. We ALL have one, and professional life isn't as easily transferable as one would think. The sooner that we as health coaches, partners, and counselors come to terms with that and embrace it within ourselves, are more forthright and open with those who we coach, we will see the real value in what it is that we are helping our clients achieve, because they will see that we’ve been through it and that we still do go back to that old neighborhood and have to call Uber to get us out of there. The reason I am a coach is of course due to education, experience, researching, practicing, failing, and practicing again. The average person is not versed in all of the dietary theories or which medical conditions should be staying away from which food, you get my point. I have an expertise but I am not perfect and thus far I have not met anyone near perfect. I do have the knowledge of personality theories, disorders, emotional fitness, and mental health. I apply all of this to each individual and it has NOTHING to do with me, only that I can empathize more with some clients due to my similar experiences. Enough said.
It’s tough these days, social media takes over and everyone’s life
is so perfect on Facebook. Guess what it isn’t. Selfie-mania has bred a very low level of narcissism (so far), and it is a very touchy area especially when youth is involved and they are not even emotionally mature enough to handle the responses both good and bad of their presence, but I digress. Brand new cars, private planes, yachts, grand vacations, huge homes, parties with a thousand of your closest friends for all to see. These are all amazing, and if I had them all at my disposal I would certainly take it
so I’m not implying one way is better or not.
What I am trying to say is that things are not always what they seem. So many studies, countless studies, show that people's self-confidence and self-worth decrease by nearly 60 percent after spending 30 minutes on a social media site. Remember, this is just like magazines with a supermodel retouched...think about social media been retouched, not in the real sense, but just in the sense of no one’s life is perfect and there is nothing wrong with sharing what you’re doing. We like to go out with friends, share the birth of a new baby, a new puppy, holiday pictures, parties, and yes "I traveled to this beautiful country," or I finally got my dream car......it’s great but the constant barrage of "look at me posts" portraying how perfect one's life is, how perfectly healthy one eats, works out every day, how much money one has, sends a few messages. One is, I’m stronger because I do this, another, is you don’t do or have this so you’re not as strong as me. Finally, which is a majority of the time, people just wanting to share fun times, happy moments, things that mean a lot to them that they feel compelled to share. Think about those first two for just a minute, it may not be the intention, yet when it hits people at the right or wrong time, the result is the depletion of spirit, motivation, self-worth on many people and what they’re trying to do in their own lives.
I’ve been health counseling for over 10 years I’ve had my own health issues, nothing life or death, although starting Peri-menopause at 40 certainly felt like it but I’ve learned to manage it. I balance as best as I am able, but it has been one of the most humbling, grueling, soul-chipping, disruptive times of my life and it continues 7 1/2 years later. For anyone that has started this process in life, you know that you don’t quite feel right a few times a day, several times, all day. AND you know this, but you feel a little out of control to be able to get to it in time before it starts. It is a tough go, and the advantage I have at this juncture, is I notice the triggers, whether they are people or things, and I can sometimes get ahead of it. if not, lock your doors! LOL
You feel angry, on the edge, worthless, no confidence, old, tired, and the words "what am I doing with
my life I have no purpose" surface. I hear women say, and I do to, "look at my body, it’s literally falling down, nothing fits, my eyes are hollow, my face puffy, my
rings don’t even fit, AND my watch is too tight, I have five hairs left on my head." Why is everything else thinning on my body except
my waist? I think there’s something
wrong there.
I think the icing on the cake for me is how mental health gets woven into a woman’s process of Peri-menopause to menopause and beyond, and yes there is certainly an element there, but it’s temporary and we know it when we’re going through it. There are times when you want to talk about it, and times when you just do not want to spill the beans. When we do talk about it, we may regret it later for fear it might be brought up subliminally into a conversation that perhaps "there’s something very wrong with her, I hope she’s OK." Just know, you are not insane, you are dealing with ginormous changes that we've never faced before - did you have ANY idea about this when you were 20? Even 30?
I started very early with this process of the “ change of life” and it’s different for everybody, but there are a lot of similarities that women tend to overlook because the information that is out there, or not out there. Your average MD has NO idea, especially the male doctors. HOW could they (bless their hearts). Just because you’re turning 40 or you’re in your 40s does not mean you’re being put out to pasture. You CAN do something about this, it WILL take time and it’s not going to be an easy road, but remember we’re getting older, and we’re also not just gaining weight, we are gaining wisdom, self-compassion and self acceptance. SO remember the gift of life you have and take it in stride - easier said than done, I know, I live it, but it takes fortitude and you have that in you - after all, you are a woman!
I’ve been thinking about this for a long time, just finally pulling that curtain back. Not ALL the way, not everyone needs or wants to know everything. As a health counselor I’m reluctant to at times, because of the image that people in health and wellness are supposed to look, feel, and speak perfectly, as if they have ALL the answers, NO ONE has all the answers. Of course we bring our expertise to our clients, but we also learn from our clients, we learn from their needs and when you’ve been through a lot of similar experiences yourself, you can empathize more deeply with your client, with people and help them discover what works for them, what doesn’t, and how to create the life they have always wanted, and that is not easy. It’s not JUST listening to an audio recording, it’s not buying six different types of green tea coffee extract, and following the next wave in dietary trends.
I’ve thought to myself, what am I doing in this industry offering
advice and guidance to someone else who’s looking for a healthier
lifestyle. I’ll tell you this..... I get it, I’ve been there, I still go there
and quite frankly having the flu during the holidays..... I’m there right now. I just want to be perfectly honest. I haven’t been taking the best
care of myself lately. Sure, I’ve gotten my workouts back on routine, though
the last couple weeks have been hit or miss, mainly due to the levels of stress that has really accumulated over the last several years. I
thought I was dealing with it fairly well, not any worse than the next person. BUT deep down I realized I really wasn’t, and allowed things to slide a little bit and gradually they slid into a big
snowball and I looked at that thinking 'hmmmm what do I do now to get myself back on track?' As I lay here today, I guess this horrible
flu is giving me an opportunity to really dig deep and decide what
those changes will be and what I will get back to doing. Maybe there are
things, people, and situations that I will have to let go of in order to put
those changes into effect. It won’t be easy, changes that are to be sustainable are not found at the end of an easy path, yet I think really giving you all a chance to see what
really goes on in my life will give you a greater understanding for my
passion in helping YOU create a better, healthier, happier, and more prosperous one for YOU!
Remember this----- everyone has stressful events that happened in their lives, I believe that it is important and healthy for you to process the emotions that are attached to those stressful events. Number one, realizing you’re not alone, you’re not the first person to experience a radical change in your lifestyle, a health issue, a family issue, losing a relationship, a partner, a loved one, a death, a job-----all of these things happen to everyone all of the time and while that doesn’t help your situation let it be an invisible hand you can hold knowing that you were brought to these experiences to realize your inner strength, your outer empowerment, and the force you will muster up may take a little time but you will do it.
I am about finished with this blogging episode, or what may appear to be an excerpt from a book... I’ll tell you what, I’m not here to give medical or psychological
advice, but I’ll give you some great coaching that will draw from both those areas and beyond. Nine times out of 10, it’s about how somehow,
somewhere along the line, you misplaced the ability to have faith in what you
know to be true, and it’s time to take that back.
That went deep, and I’m dictating this from my sofa. I’ve got one dog on my foot the other one is on top of my head right now. They know I don’t feel well which is so cute, if you’ve ever noticed that about animals knowing and staying glued to you the whole time—-barely getting up for sip of water or a trip outside.
Here’s the long and short of it, and yes there is a short of it. EAT THE CAKE....enjoy your wine, martini, your cocktail, your mocktail, whatever it is, go out and have a burger FF sake, unless you’re a vegan, I know you won’t do that. If your spanks are suffocating you while you have them on, throw them out and embrace where you are in this very moment and work towards a better you, because that will happen once you change the mindset, realize your self-worth, your power, perseverance, and your deep-seeded inability to give up on yourself. Don’t worry about being perfect, whatever the hell that is. The people I see/know trying to be perfect and want you to think that they are, are NOT
(and that is okay, they just do not realize that we all know it is an impossible undertaking). EVERYONE has skeletons in the closet, and no disrespect, but I think it sends the wrong message to those really trying to find some sense of what it feels like and means to have a healthy life designed by YOU on all levels. I would love to be here for you to guide you through.
Let me know where The Inspired Life™ fits into your life. Email me, comment, and let me know how I can best help you.
This is real life and I’m a Real-Life Coach.
Love, hugs, health and peace
Mindi Anderson
The Inspired Life™
www.mindianderson.com
Ahhhh what to say, what to say..... closing out 2017... ANOTHER year checked off, another year filled with highs and lows, another year of lessons learned, and another year of sometimes getting burned.
Still this year hasn’t been much different from the last many, for me at least. There has been a lot of change, uncertainty and unfinished business in many "departments" of my personal and professional life. Transitioning into new places, letting go of old spaces, packing up and unpacking, one too many times, could send even the most balanced person over their own red line.
I just read that and it sounds like I was trying to be a poet. I wasn’t but it sounds pretty good. I’m closing out this year as another testament to the strength and will that I have discovered within myself. After moving four times in four years, losing my father, pets, some friends - both on earth and above and beyond- and this last move a relocation to a new city and state. And, although one that is familiar as a visitor with some friends and family here, it is still new to me living here. No matter where we move, down the street the other side of the country or another continent there is a transitional period and there is no timeline, it affects us all in a very unique way. We all have different personalities, we all interpret, process and manage how we respond and adapt to change.
I’m blogging today as I’ve been bedridden for two days with whatever strain of FLU that floats around our environment every year. I have never actually HAD the version(s) that travels around this time of year. I have had sinus issues, really bad colds and maybe the yucky stomach flu but nothing like this. The force with which this came on Sunday afternoon was like a punch in the face. My finger nails hurt, my earlobes, my hair, my eyelashes, and my teeth hurt so badly, it was as if I was having an out of body experience not to mention every joint, muscle---every ounce of my being just hurt. When the shivering began, shortly after, the intense sweating and hot flashes followed, and NO it was not a Hormone Hottie, I would have preferred that.
I have spent the last many years and most recently been very diligent with herbal remedies and I was successful at preventing an ear infection a couple of weeks ago with these amazing herbs. But alas, I let my guard down at some moment when I wasn’t looking, this crud made its presence known.
My Christmas Eve is barely memorable, I recall returning home from urgent care taking one of the pills drinking as much water as I could, putting on anywhere from 6 to 8 layers of clothing, including gloves and a scarf, then under the covers I went as my amazing husband nursed-up and found as many blankets as he could to keep me warm. By the way, the heat was already on in the house.
I spent most of the evening in agony, moaning and groaning, changing positions and locations. Sometimes laying on the floor in just the right way kept me comfortable, only to have to move a minute later. Finally just full of pure exhaustion, getting into bed and praying to the universe or any Higher Divine Being to PLEASE......let me make it through the night. I did. I’m here. I was pretty miserable Christmas Day. This year’s Merry Christmas turned into a Merry Sick-Mas. My Christmas dinner which was supposed to be here at our home had to be changed at the last minute, friends and family having to pull it together and from what I heard they did and had a great time with my husband over there to join in the festivities getting a much needed break from hanging out with his sick wife (he earned it for sure). Only to return with a lovely collection of leftovers that will probably look appealing in a few days.
Dare I say the only upside to being incapacitated at this time is the amazing amount of water weight I have lost. That in and of itself is awful to say but I’d be lying if I said it was not an appreciated outcome of getting an unplanned detox. I guess I’m a little ahead of the game but then again my OCD/SO keeps me on top of things like that. (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder with Somatic Obsessions)
So as I think about getting sick this time of year, it happens to many people, not to me very often, but when I do get a bug I get a really big bug. When I go down, I go down hard and I've got to be honest, as a Behavioral Nutritional counselor, I work in psychology with personalities, helping people find balance in their lives in many areas, and I, myself have my own struggles. I’ve often thought about that teeter-totter component of my work as a health partner helping people get on and stay on track, create and live sustainable healthy lifestyles, finding balance and harmony, and really enjoying their lives and being good to themselves while they’re doing it. I’m the same, just because I help people with their own lives doesn’t mean I’ve figured out every single thing about my own. Being in this type of business, this field of psychology and health can sometimes feel like you’re boxed in. You feel backed into a corner and the image that you are supposed to be. A perfect size zero, flawless being who has it all together--she eats and exercises right, thinks positive constantly, has a perfect husband or partner, perfect children, a perfect home, car, job and on and on. THIS simply is not the case. And I must say, all of the criteria for perfection I listed above might be out there, but know that everyone has something going on behind the curtain that is not perfect. There is much more depth to us, which is significantly more interesting and purposeful then if we get enough KALE in our diets.
I’ve also learned through my experience of being on this planet for 47 years and all of the training and education that I’ve accomplished, that, while one is an expert in an area of study, your business, your niche, whatever, it does not mean that you have mastered everything that you teach in your own personal life. We ALL have one, and professional life isn't as easily transferable as one would think. The sooner that we as health coaches, partners, and counselors come to terms with that and embrace it within ourselves, are more forthright and open with those who we coach, we will see the real value in what it is that we are helping our clients achieve, because they will see that we’ve been through it and that we still do go back to that old neighborhood and have to call Uber to get us out of there. The reason I am a coach is of course due to education, experience, researching, practicing, failing, and practicing again. The average person is not versed in all of the dietary theories or which medical conditions should be staying away from which food, you get my point. I have an expertise but I am not perfect and thus far I have not met anyone near perfect. I do have the knowledge of personality theories, disorders, emotional fitness, and mental health. I apply all of this to each individual and it has NOTHING to do with me, only that I can empathize more with some clients due to my similar experiences. Enough said.
 |
| Here is my selfie - not perfect just me working on myself |
What I am trying to say is that things are not always what they seem. So many studies, countless studies, show that people's self-confidence and self-worth decrease by nearly 60 percent after spending 30 minutes on a social media site. Remember, this is just like magazines with a supermodel retouched...think about social media been retouched, not in the real sense, but just in the sense of no one’s life is perfect and there is nothing wrong with sharing what you’re doing. We like to go out with friends, share the birth of a new baby, a new puppy, holiday pictures, parties, and yes "I traveled to this beautiful country," or I finally got my dream car......it’s great but the constant barrage of "look at me posts" portraying how perfect one's life is, how perfectly healthy one eats, works out every day, how much money one has, sends a few messages. One is, I’m stronger because I do this, another, is you don’t do or have this so you’re not as strong as me. Finally, which is a majority of the time, people just wanting to share fun times, happy moments, things that mean a lot to them that they feel compelled to share. Think about those first two for just a minute, it may not be the intention, yet when it hits people at the right or wrong time, the result is the depletion of spirit, motivation, self-worth on many people and what they’re trying to do in their own lives.
I’ve been health counseling for over 10 years I’ve had my own health issues, nothing life or death, although starting Peri-menopause at 40 certainly felt like it but I’ve learned to manage it. I balance as best as I am able, but it has been one of the most humbling, grueling, soul-chipping, disruptive times of my life and it continues 7 1/2 years later. For anyone that has started this process in life, you know that you don’t quite feel right a few times a day, several times, all day. AND you know this, but you feel a little out of control to be able to get to it in time before it starts. It is a tough go, and the advantage I have at this juncture, is I notice the triggers, whether they are people or things, and I can sometimes get ahead of it. if not, lock your doors! LOL
 |
| A book I collaborated about this very topic |
I think the icing on the cake for me is how mental health gets woven into a woman’s process of Peri-menopause to menopause and beyond, and yes there is certainly an element there, but it’s temporary and we know it when we’re going through it. There are times when you want to talk about it, and times when you just do not want to spill the beans. When we do talk about it, we may regret it later for fear it might be brought up subliminally into a conversation that perhaps "there’s something very wrong with her, I hope she’s OK." Just know, you are not insane, you are dealing with ginormous changes that we've never faced before - did you have ANY idea about this when you were 20? Even 30?
I started very early with this process of the “ change of life” and it’s different for everybody, but there are a lot of similarities that women tend to overlook because the information that is out there, or not out there. Your average MD has NO idea, especially the male doctors. HOW could they (bless their hearts). Just because you’re turning 40 or you’re in your 40s does not mean you’re being put out to pasture. You CAN do something about this, it WILL take time and it’s not going to be an easy road, but remember we’re getting older, and we’re also not just gaining weight, we are gaining wisdom, self-compassion and self acceptance. SO remember the gift of life you have and take it in stride - easier said than done, I know, I live it, but it takes fortitude and you have that in you - after all, you are a woman!
I’ve been thinking about this for a long time, just finally pulling that curtain back. Not ALL the way, not everyone needs or wants to know everything. As a health counselor I’m reluctant to at times, because of the image that people in health and wellness are supposed to look, feel, and speak perfectly, as if they have ALL the answers, NO ONE has all the answers. Of course we bring our expertise to our clients, but we also learn from our clients, we learn from their needs and when you’ve been through a lot of similar experiences yourself, you can empathize more deeply with your client, with people and help them discover what works for them, what doesn’t, and how to create the life they have always wanted, and that is not easy. It’s not JUST listening to an audio recording, it’s not buying six different types of green tea coffee extract, and following the next wave in dietary trends.
Remember this----- everyone has stressful events that happened in their lives, I believe that it is important and healthy for you to process the emotions that are attached to those stressful events. Number one, realizing you’re not alone, you’re not the first person to experience a radical change in your lifestyle, a health issue, a family issue, losing a relationship, a partner, a loved one, a death, a job-----all of these things happen to everyone all of the time and while that doesn’t help your situation let it be an invisible hand you can hold knowing that you were brought to these experiences to realize your inner strength, your outer empowerment, and the force you will muster up may take a little time but you will do it.
That went deep, and I’m dictating this from my sofa. I’ve got one dog on my foot the other one is on top of my head right now. They know I don’t feel well which is so cute, if you’ve ever noticed that about animals knowing and staying glued to you the whole time—-barely getting up for sip of water or a trip outside.
Here’s the long and short of it, and yes there is a short of it. EAT THE CAKE....enjoy your wine, martini, your cocktail, your mocktail, whatever it is, go out and have a burger FF sake, unless you’re a vegan, I know you won’t do that. If your spanks are suffocating you while you have them on, throw them out and embrace where you are in this very moment and work towards a better you, because that will happen once you change the mindset, realize your self-worth, your power, perseverance, and your deep-seeded inability to give up on yourself. Don’t worry about being perfect, whatever the hell that is. The people I see/know trying to be perfect and want you to think that they are, are NOT
(and that is okay, they just do not realize that we all know it is an impossible undertaking). EVERYONE has skeletons in the closet, and no disrespect, but I think it sends the wrong message to those really trying to find some sense of what it feels like and means to have a healthy life designed by YOU on all levels. I would love to be here for you to guide you through.
Let me know where The Inspired Life™ fits into your life. Email me, comment, and let me know how I can best help you.
This is real life and I’m a Real-Life Coach.
Love, hugs, health and peace
Mindi Anderson
The Inspired Life™
www.mindianderson.com
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